HOLY COW!!!!! (jenn)

Good Morning! Happy New year! And Hello 4 pounds.....yes that is right...it is not WWofficial...but I weighed my self yesterday morning and I gain 4 pounds.....HOLY COW! Of course I wanted to say another word on here but I don't think i am allowed.
Well I can't do anything about the past but learn from it and that is the Holiday's suck when it comes time to watch your weight! LOL! I could have been worse I know that. I did go to the gym and work out so I think that was my only saving grace! So I am self motivating again! I have no choice....I ran 4 miles yesterday! My 3rd time ever! Whenever I run I am not doing any less the 3 miles but if i have the time will do 4. Not running today, too much to do. I am going to be moving my Living room around so that will be my workout for today! not to mention I got my period and it is so heavy......So tomorrow I will be back out at the park running my laps! There is a new 5k Kelly and  I are going to do and it is for the Phillies. You get 2 pre-season tickets with registration. While everyone I tell is all "Oh it is only preseason, who care". "why are you paying to run 3 miles when you can do it outside for free?" .....these people are called downers.....I try not to listen to them b/c I did my whole life as a teenager and had the worst self esteem ever!! And when u hear the same thing over and over again you start believing what u r hearing! I have come a long way with my self esteem. I know that it is still low! Even with my awesome Husband telling me otherwise.  When you have a low self esteem it affects everything, your mood, you emotions, the way you eat/workout. . For me getting on that scale yesterday made me mad at myself. I don't ever want to be where I was 3 months ago! I want to be better...so i pushed myself and ran 4.1 miles. I was going to the park and thought I will do one lap, which is 1.7miles and then the run to and from my house makes it 2 miles. Well all i thought about was all the crappy food I ate and how I know I can do at least three. So I said...3 mile...well two times around the park is 3.4 miles and then to and from my house was .3 miles. So as I did my second lap around the park(which i rocked that dam hill 2x's) I came out of the park and said I will walk home, then i thought...hmmmi just run home it isn't that far. Then I saw the next block down and said I will run to the stop sign...next thing I knew I was running another .4miles. So total run was 4.1 miles, I was so proud of myself that when that someone said that running was dumb and 5k's were a waste..I just sat there and said to myself that I did 4 miles, I did 4 miles and after this week I am going to do 4.5 miles. And NO ONE is going to stop me! Sometime we need downers in our life just to remind us that we don't want to listen to them, but listen to your body!
I am making little goals for myself.....my first goal is to run 5 miles......once I get there I will set a new one. But for now...I just want to prove it to people that I can do it and I am going to look DAMM good doing it too!!!  So another new quest since B got a job is that I have to find a good workout dvd to do at home. I like myEA Sports Activeworkout andThe Firm: Total Body Makeover but I get bored! I am going to steal Kelly'Jillian Michaels - 30 Day Shred sdvds and copy them and do them. I am also going to get a Yoga For Families: Connect With Your Kids dvd b/c Abby likes doing yoga so that is something me and the girls can do together!!!
I am hoping to jump on our blog a little more now the holidays are over. SEE YOU SOON!